Conversations With (Insert Name Here)

Hello.
I think you made me think.

I guess it is frustrating when things don't work out the way you planned. The old records seem hazy as everything that is being pushed back into a fog and the moment suddenly comes to a merry-go-round. Everything is now unforeseen, new, uncertain, strange and scary. This strangeness conceives a short-termed helplessness that spurs people to feel a whirlpool of emotions - sadness, fear, anger, frustration and confusion.

Then we try to solve things, but the desperation to remedy drives people into a panic. They are sick with apprehension, they go tense, they become super-sensative, sometimes quite imaginative. They are driven to a point where it would be safe to call them 'crazy.' I guess insecurity makes people uncomfortable and that makes them go a little mad and a little insane. That point of confusion clouds our defenses and we start to talk too much, think too much, dramatize so much and fear so much.

So we seek salvation in rejecting whatever that is happening, because with it comes the comforts of numbness and disbelief, and as an added bonus, it also creates a snow-globe of surrealism. All your solutions and efforts had already gone wrong, you know of it, but you just sit down calmly (with a smile), put your legs up, swirl your coffee and turn up the music to a volume that it sort of hurts your ears, then you let the droning music take control. The bass and vocals slowly eat away the mind whisperers. You convince yourself you aren't angry, or sad, or lonely. You empty your mind, you think about black blankness, you think about caves, you think about tube-like holes and vast canyons, you think about free-fall... In this meditation you find your new preservation, this is your salvation through distractions. This is now your escape.

However, life always has its quirky (annoying) ways. Ironically, the things you run/escape from, are always the things that hold a solution and the ultimate salvation. So you find yourself end up waiting anyway.

So at the apprehensive resolution to this what seems to be a never-ending merry-go-round ride, I truly understand that it is nice to suffocate your thoughts with music and always try/want escape. But I know it is always much nicer to just sit with you peacefully, like the old times, and just do the escaping together.